autobiography

Lindsay Cooke
Prof. Sharon Marshall
English 1000C
Autobiographical Essay
When I was born it was a surprise. I was born in July but the due date was October. I was nearly four months early and everything was a huge emergency. My mother went into labor at work and my father showed up to the hospital in his boots, sweat socks, jeans with caulk and compound everywhere, and a wife beater tank top. While in labor my mother, carol, developed a fever and since my birth was so high risk they didn’t want to risk any chances and immediately rushed her to C-section. My mom was put to sleep and considering the emergency my father, Pernell, was not allowed to be present during the C-section. To this day I get mad that no one but the doctor saw me when I was first born. No one heard my little first cry if any; no one counted my toes and fingers or even kissed my forehead before they whisked me off to the intensive care unit. Born at 1:20 in the morning on July 4, 1991, I have arrived! My parents got to see me briefly, a couple hours later but due to my size of 1 pound and 13 ounces, they could only spend a short amount of time with me. My parents didn’t name me until about four weeks later. My mother still complains to this day that the nurses would bother her and complain everyday that I didn’t have a name yet. Lindsay picked out from the movie, The Abyss. Breanna, based off my dad’s middle name Breon. I spent almost four months in the hospital, in an incubator; my mom visited me every day and stayed as long as she could. She cried almost every night after leaving me. My dad assumed she was going crazy after months had passed of non stop crying. I was supposed to be retarded, disabled, and paralyzed. My mom checked for everything as I was growing up. When I was one she noticed that my two ring fingers were crooked and the doctor said it was a sign of polio. Back than testing took longer than now and my mom cried for at least a month holding my fingers and praying that I didn’t have polio until the results came back.
Today I am as healthy as can be. Growing up I was the child that defeated all the odds, I didn’t die when all odds were against me, I was smarter than average kids my age and I didn’t get hurt when I should have. There were times when I fell off the monkey bars at school and didn’t even get a scratch. I was a daredevil and a very curious child. I never thought twice about my consequences or what would happen if I did this. I was the outgoing little girl with beautiful features and never ending compliments. I never had to worry about anything. I got what I wanted and it was always my way or the high way ever since I could babble. I was spoiled by all especially my grandparents. The number one person who spoiled me the most was my dad. To this day I can call him and get what I want. My mom tries to claim he’s the only one who spoils me but she’s guilty of it too. One day I asked my mom why I’m so spoiled and she says it’s because I could have died when I was younger and so they cherish my life and show it through never ending love and gifts.
My family and I were always the family to beat. My dad and I are the closest any family members can be. I am the epitome of a daddy’s girl; no one can top my status. I still call him daddy; we have our own language that if anyone else heard us they would just think we were crazy. We don’t say ‘I love you’ we say ‘I love’ and whoever answers says ‘tooooo much’ and hold the too as long as you can. I say bleebing instead of bleeding to him, we can both understand what we say when we are yawning or laughing so much no words are coming out. Not only do I love him for the things he gives me but I love him for everything he is. I love him unconditionally and spend any chance I get with him. I am my father’s twin. Everywhere we go people are shocked and gasp at how much we look alike. It’s pretty sick all the features I have from him. It seems like the only thing my mom gave me was my nice hair. We are not only alike looks wise but we have the same personality. We both have tempers, mine a little shorter than his, no patience, and we think exactly the same. Our fights are the worst fights ever because we are so much the same but in the end we make up quicker and forget about what happened. My father and I are extremely nosey constantly in people’s conversations and never miss a beat about our surroundings. I can honestly say I love my dad more than my mom. She has always told me that my dad was a better father than husband.
I love my mom too and love her unconditionally also. Between the ages of birth to about six years of age I was a mommy’s girl. My mom will never forget. She always says ‘I used to love her’ and that one day a switch went off in me and I suddenly liked my dad more. When I was younger and took dance classes and gymnastics lessons I would not let my mom leave. She says I would be doing the dance steps but constantly checked behind me to see if she was still there. From day one my mother raised me as a girly girl. She painted my nails, I cried anytime she tried to make me wear pants because according to me ‘they were boy’s clothes!’ My room was pink and everything I owned was pink. She made sure I embraced my girl side and never let it go. I was a much pampered child.
Family is the absolutely most important thing to me in my life. I’ve always dreamed of the close and loving extended family and I tried my best to make it happen. I always wanted to hang out with my grandparents and even spent the whole summer if I could at their house. Before my grandparents died my dad’s side of the family was extremely close, we did EVERY holiday together and we had them down to a science. We knew who would bring what, what everyone wanted for their birthday and every present wrapped and tagged before Christmas. Every Christmas eve was spent at my mom mom’s house and we exchanged presents and then Christmas afternoon was spent at my aunt’s house on my mom’s side for Christmas brunch and exchanging presents. I used to leave each house with bags of presents and a big smile on my face. Christmas besides my birthday was my favorite holiday. Now my birthday was the biggest celebration of the year! We brought both sides together under one roof and everyone knew it was the biggest party of the year. No one ever forgot my birthday because not only was it a holiday but it was the best party, at least I like to believe that in my mind. I loved having the whole family together to celebrate me of course! I loved my birthday barbeque the only thing I didn’t like about having my birthday on the fourth of July was that most of my friends went away for that holiday, except for the neighborhood kids. I always wished I could have a party inside a play house or something fun like my brother, cousins and other friends but they would be closed during my birthday or closed early. When I was younger before I actually realized my birthday was a holiday my parents, especially my dad, would tell me that all the fireworks were for me. Of course I felt so special and number one!
After my grandparents died family get togethers started to get less and less on my dad’s side and after my aunt moved to North Carolina family get togethers started to die as well. Also, after my parents’ divorce my collaboration birthday parties have ceased and desist. A year after their separation my mom threw me a party at my grand mom’s house and I was in the worst mood ever. I had no leftovers at my own house, no one came for my birthday they came more for the food & barbeque, and I barely got any gifts, only about forty-five dollars. I was so mad at my mom for the party, I was so mad at my parents, I was so mad at myself, and most of all I was mad at my family. Slowly but surely my family was falling apart it seemed. I can remember making jokes to friends at school and people around me to hide my pain, to hide the tears at night and more importantly cover up my failure in family. I can honestly say high school was close to the worst years of my life. I seen my mom at least once every two months, I lived in 2 different houses with my dad and I also had to balance switching schools. It was not something any fourteen year old would dream of high school. Not only was I the new girl at school but I was alone. I had no family to lean on because through those years we just kept getting farther and farther apart and I had no mom to lean on. I completely lost her, I did everything for her to come down and see me but every time she would come down I couldn’t help but let my emotions show and fight her about everything. I just couldn’t understand how the one person in my life whom I loved would just up and leave me.
Around tenth grade or so, a couple years after my parents separated my dad told me some news that completely and utterly changed my views on him, my mom and my family. I can remember this day so vividly it’s ridiculous. He took me out to eat at one of our regular diners we go to every Sunday. After a while of eating and chatting he looked at me and said there’s something I’ve wanted to tell you for a while. He continued to explain that my mom wanted to tell me together but he can no longer wait. Long story short my father broke the new s that I had a younger sister. At first thought I was excited because I always wanted a little sister, so I can teach her everything I know and no longer be the only one tormented by my brother. Then later it started to sink in that this child was only half of me, she was not created by my mother and father but by my father and some other lady. She was only my half sister. Several different questions popped in my head at that moment. Why would my dad do that, when did he do it, will I ever be able to meet her and the vital question of all, can we ever have a sister relationship? I think the thing that hurt me the most was the fact that I have a sister out there and just found out about her now! She was already twelve and grew up completely different from me, she unlike me, did not have that complete family and was also raised by her grandma. She didn’t get a chance to go to the best private schools, Disney world or even experience the family I had. From then on I wanted her in my life. I had to meet her and start trying to build that sister bond. It was my destiny and always my wish to have a little sister and now that I have one I needed to embrace her no matter the circumstances. Then it didn’t matter how much I wanted to meet her and be with her every second because my mom and dad, mainly my dad seemed a little uncomfortable with me meeting her. Regardless of our backgrounds and family environment I loved her and wanted to get to know her and form that bond as soon as possible.
By the time eleventh grade rolled around I was ready to leave. I had more acquaintances then friends at school, I involved all of my free time into sneaking my boyfriend of three years into my house and getting in trouble. It was the worst. I only had a year to turn my life around but I didn’t know how to. I was living for everyone else except Lindsay. I lost my goals, my morals and most of all myself. Around this time my main goal turned into college, anywhere away from Philadelphia, was where my heart was set. I started completing my work, attending classes and making friends! Things were turning around, finally. My dad started being proud of me again, I was turning into old Lindsay and the most important thing was my mom came back! I started seeing her every weekend and my cousin and I became very close. I was dropping my boyfriend and picking up my life again. I was young, involved and energetic. I couldn’t believe the transformation and everything just kept getting better from there.
That summer I counseled at a summer camp for smart kids in underprivileged areas and it was where I met my best friend, Dana. We hit it off from the beginning! We had the exact personalities, family life and everything. She grew up similar to me, her parents also divorced before ninth grade, and she loved everything I did. We were inseparable since then. It was funny that out of all people I became friends with her because we have been in the same homeroom since tenth grade. Every day that summer I walked to her house after work and when I got my car we went everywhere, we called them ‘bestie adventures’ but half the time we were lost and trying to find some place we’ve never been to before. We were complete corn balls, we even matched the first day of senior year, by accident if anyone asked us but we really went back to school shopping that Monday before school. She was with me when I and my current boyfriend Allen met. She was my third wheel; she accompanied me and also made t-shirts, signs, hoodies and cheers at his football games. She made me a better girlfriend because I know without her I would have never done any of those things by myself. She’s been with me through everything, applying to college, prom, I and Allen’s problems, and she helped me escape my family when I needed to. She was there for me when no one else was, she listened and I listened. I was there for her through the guys who hurt her and there for her when she and her boyfriend, Fatin met. I was the one who talked her into considering him and giving him a chance. I was also there when he dumped her for the first time. I was at her house for more than twenty four hours; I rubbed her back, gave her needed advice and even went to the neighbor’s house when she screamed for her mom. Even though we go to different colleges our friendship has never died. We still call each other when we have problems, we Skype and also Facebook constantly. Although she chose to stay in Pennsylvania and I came to New York, every time I come home I see her. We have our classic sleep over and I drive all the way to her college. Different things this year have definitely hindered and threatened our friendship. From our boyfriends fighting and each of us standing by their side and completely ignoring our relationship for our men to me unable to see her and her taking it personal. We moved past it and realized our friendship is way more important then petty fights as those. I can honestly say my and Dana’s friendship is a lifetime thing, I now look at her as a sister and I have never had a friend who has been so supportive and just there for me as she has been. We each hold a special place in each other’s heart.
This essay has helped me realize why I am the Lindsay I am today. Each and everything mentioned in this assignment is me in the form of other people. These seven pages define me, I am family orientated, very loving and through all I can make through anything. I am strong, confident on my good days and I am me. I am no longer trying to fit in, rebel or be something that is not the way my parents raise me. I love everyone and have learned to let go of any grudge or anything I have held on to. I am moving forward away from my past. I know it has made me who I am but it is not who I am now. I can say happily now I love my life, I love who I am and can always improve. I love my family although we are not as big as we used to be, I still love them unconditionally. I can’t see myself being any other way. Each and every obstacle I have overcome has made me who I am and my time at St. Johns. I am turning into that adult my parents can be proud of; a strong independent woman is starting to emerge. Although I always and will forever rely on my parents for support and advice, that is what they are here for. I am Lindsay, I am me and I love every second good or bad.

Sibling Love

Lindsay Cooke

Comparison paper

My family is probably the closest family I’ve ever seen and met. Growing up we did everything, every vacation, Disney world three times, say ‘I love you’ any chance we got. Even now whether I am home or at school I still say ‘I love you’ every time I hang up the phone with my parents even if it was the fifth time we talked that day. I still hold my dad’s hand and sit on my mom’s lap. My mom often refers to me as the biggest newborn she knows. As I am getting older I am starting to notice more how my brother and I are complete opposites. I am the wild child/social butterfly and he is the more reserved type.

My brother, Brandon, can stay in his room all day with his phone, computer and television and be completely satisfied. I, on the other hand, freak out any time I am alone. I crave attention and ultimately do anything to get it while he will take it as it comes. I guess it comes along with our ranks. I am the baby, youngest child and only girl, so of course I have the title to be spoiled and grab all the attention. He had my parents to himself for about seven years until I came in the picture, I think as the years went on he learned to be by himself. It didn’t help that at birth I needed a lot of attention due to my premature birth.

I love to be surrounded by people, life of the party and always having hundreds of friends. He has had the same friend since we moved to our house eighteen years ago. I cannot stand when my phone doesn’t ring or I don’t have plans for the day, I live on faceboook, and party almost every day if I can. Brandon is fine being quiet, does not have any social networking site and only started going out more this year. I can’t even grocery shop alone because of boredom but he’ll go to a concert alone by choice! To me that is crazy. I sing out loud no matter who is around, I dance in the streets with only the music in my head, and he just stands there looking at me like I’m crazy while he walks down the street plainly and normal like everyone else.

Throughout my schooling years I was always seen as the teacher’s favorite. Every parent teacher conference they would rave on how polite I am and how I always participate. I have teachers from daycare remembering me to this day. While my brother fell asleep in class, stayed in the back, and probably doesn’t even remember his teachers name let alone them remembering him. My life is planned. I know where and what I’ll be doing for almost every year for the next twenty years. I know I’ll be an obstetrician. I know when I’ll graduate, where my practice will be, what area I want to raise my family in and I’ve never changed that plan besides a few little things since I was six. My whole goal throughout high school was to be where I am now. My parents put me in the best private schools money could buy since first grade. I knew nothing but excellence and that excellence is the only thing can be achieved.

Brandon is the total opposite. He has no idea what he wants to be even at the age of twenty five now. He’s comfortable at his job making roughly seventeen thousand a year. He likes being in his tiny little apartment by himself. He stopped going to college after about two years. Growing up he attended public school by choice and battled with ADHD with no medicine until age sixteen. I guess you could say we are nowhere near each other. Me, with my plan and him floating through life comfortably. My brother is something of a slacker.

Surprisingly as we got older I got in the most trouble. I was the rebel; skipping school, stealing and lying through almost everything and anything. I did pretty much anything and didn’t think about the consequences, I couldn’t grasp the concept of that word when I was younger. I got punished but ultimately would cry my way through it because I knew I would eventually get my way. Brandon basically followed the rules and didn’t do anything surprising besides fail classes in school or be late for class. He never went out or hung out after school. So when my high school chance rolled around my parents didn’t know how to handle going from non-sociable to non-stop social hour. I went to at least five proms a year for every year of my high school career. I was constantly abusing the curfew rule, calling to get extra time, disappearing after school just to not even have to ask if I could go out.

My brother and I constantly compare each other. When he was seventeen my parents pushed him to get his license and when he finally got it my dad gave him the Mercedes Benz. Alternatively when I reached the age of sixteen I quickly took my permit test and started begging to drive any chance I got. I only drove my mom’s car a couple times until she crashed it and got a nicer car and I was left to drive my dad’s work truck. I was pissed! After I got my license I expected a nice car like my brother. I didn’t receive a car until five months after I got my license and it was far from a Benz. It was a ford explorer. Maria quickly broke down about three months after and I got another car, it still wasn’t a Benz. It was a Hyundai! Yet again I was pissed. I constantly bring up that my brother got a Benz for his first car and he constantly brings up the fact that I already had two cars and am on my way to the third before he even got two.

Brandon and I may seem like opposites but you would never know it if you see us together. Although we have different hobbies and ways of approaching life, we remain close. We have the same sense of humor, the same ways to act in different situations, a similar laugh and we both look like our dad. No matter how different we are we could never deny our sibling bond, although I’m sure sometimes he would like to say I am not his sister to most people. No matter how much I talk about him being unproductive and a nobody, I love him and he’s my brother and I guess I have to live with him…

changed life!

About two years ago I started hanging out with my cousin, jasmine, which is a year older than me. She would tell me everything I never knew about the family. She grew up right knowing everything that ever went on because she was either present or her mom would tell her what happen. I on the other hand only knew what my mother told me. Jazz one day started telling me about my aunt Jacquie’s drug addiction to crack. She told me about the multiple interventions even ones involving my parents where my dad had to drag my aunt Jacquie to the car and take her to rehab. I couldn’t believe it! My aunt Jacquie was the most successful in my opinion, out of all my aunts. She had her own business which was thriving; she owned her house by herself and was very independent. But that was what I only seen. One my mom, two cousins, all my aunts and I went to my aunt Jacquie’s apartment after her daughter’s husband’s funeral. My aunt did not show to the funeral and they were all upset about that. As soon as we walked into her apartment it smelled horrible. It was a mess and everything was unlike the aunt Jacquie I knew. She came around the corner and looked a mess! Her hair was everywhere, her clothing tattered and she was extremely skinny. I never saw her like that in my life. We were there to perform an intervention little did I know. They started off quiet and calm until my aunt Jacquie started getting defensive. Than the yelling started. It was very overwhelming and it just felt like my world was crashing down. It felt as though everything I knew about my family was all a lie. I never seen my aunts so mad, I never seen my mom so mad, I never seen my aunt Jacquie look so different. After a while they had to drag her out her apartment and put her in the car and we took her to the hospital. Everything was a blur to me; I can recall only bits and pieces. After that day I now look at my whole family differently. I now realize why my mom didn’t tell me everything, why she kept it from me. It’s because she knew how I am, how sensitive and close I am about family. If I would’ve seen this or known this as a kid I don’t think I would love my aunt Jacquie as much as I do now. I would have a totally different outlook about her.

I'm here because...

Never ending sun. Bathing suits everywhere, water all around me. Miami my home away from home. Every summer this was my home for 2 months. I loved everything about it. From south beach right down the street to the pool outside our vacation home. I hated leaving and coming back to reality. constant tanning and no worries. I practically grew up with the kids there it's just I didn't go to school with them in the fall. Miami made me appreciate something more than the Philadelphia summer or the Jersey shore. It felt right to be there, I felt more at home than I did in Philly. Something about the sun, the water and the people made me realize that there was a lot more out there for me. If it wasn't for Miami I don't think I would want to leave my hometown and adventure out to other places by myself. I don't think I would be here in New York experiencing something other than Yeadon/Philly.

power of prayer

I remember the phone call like it was yesterday. I was getting ready for Halloween and I was in the hallway talking to my parents and my dad’s phone rang. My heart sank immediately. I knew what the phone call was; I knew what it was about. My pop-pop was dead. He recently had a heart attack and was on a breathing tube and couldn’t speak, and wasn’t completely unconscious. I visited him only once and I hated being there. I hated seeing him so silent and still. His body was cold and it just wasn’t my pop-pop. We were closer than life itself. I saw him pretty much every day and all day, everday during the summer. He would give me candy, watch TV with me and just loved me unconditional. I knew I was his favorite grandchild. My dad came to the hallway and told us that pop-pop had died. I immediately ran up to my dad and asked why. Through my sobbing and shaking I could barely hear him but he said it was his time to go. I ran to my room and my dad left to go to the hospital with my mom. In my room I just kept asking why. I didn’t believe my dad when he said it was his time to go. I didn’t think it was, I wasn’t done loving him. While asking why I remember whispering to god, please bring him back to me, he’s not ready to go. About a hour or two later of straight sobbing and pleading I felt a calmness come over me and it was like god told me and reassured me that my pop-pop was in a better place and that it was, indeed his time to go…

theme for english b free write

For this assignment, I chose to write about two important factors in my life now, that I have been thinking about constantly for a while, cars and tattoos!
For the past couple of weeks to a month or two I have been looking for a new car. Right now I have a Hyundai accent, Raul, but I really want a VW Jetta, so I can take it to school next year. My budget for this new car is fifteen hundred according to my dad. Lately I have turned into an avid craigslist searcher, I mean at least four to five times a day I search, it’s kind of sick. I sometimes search other websites but craigslist is the cheapest and easiest. I text my dad at least three times a day every time I think I found a deal but it seems like every car is either sold or out of my ‘budget’ (which I hope soon will change). Raul, my Hyundai, only cost five hundred and so did my ford explorer, Maria, so I’m hoping for something better this time. Currently I’m in communication with this guy who has a VW Passatt, similar to a Jetta, a beautiful car but the only problem is that it’s a stick shift and I can only drive automatic at the time. My dad says he will teach but I’m nervous to learn because I don’t have a good attention span and the only manual car he has now is a Porsche and I don’t want to break it or something if I can’t learn fast enough. So, hopefully he will buy the car and let me learn on my own car.
Tattoos, I have always had a fascination with tattoos since I was really young. It was like I was addicted before I even had one. I’ve always wanted at least two but my parents would think I was just kidding because growing up I used to run from needles at the doctor’s office. Lately I have been thinking and designing my second tattoo. Right now, I have my last name on my rib cage in cursive. It was the only idea my dad would agree to and we got tattoos together. It didn’t hurt surprisingly because it is one of the most sensitive spots to get a tattoo. For my last name tattoo I wanted to develop it into a bigger piece but had no idea how. I recently designed a piece that has two flowers connected by a heart and the two flowers represent my grandparents on my father’s side who passed away. In thinking about this I wanted to get my other side done. I’ve had this quote forever it is like my favorite quote, ‘Help me believe in what I could be in all that I am’ which just says show me what I am capable of and give me the confidence to do it and in myself. This quote is always in my mind and I’ve always wanted it somewhere on my body but also with a design. The other day, my brother sent me a picture of a tiger that he drew and I can just picture it on my side, with the tail wrapping around my back and the quote is around the tiger in some type of way. I liked the tiger because a tiger represents, confidence, fierceness and seems fearless which relating to my life is everything I would want to be. Although, these designs are so well planned I know I will not be able to get them until after I get a job because they are intricate so they won’t be my next tattoo. The next one I want would be ‘I love you’ in Italian which is Ti Vogliio Bene on the base of my neck/shoulder.